Being Green: The New Relationship Stressor?


Photo: arte_ram, Stock Xchng

No question about it, relationships鈥攚ith partners, family, friends鈥攁re hard. Throw the environment into the mix and there鈥檚 just one more thing you have to see eye to eye on.

Should you recycle at home? Ride your bike or the subway to work? Not take that trip you were planning so you can avoid unnecessary greenhouse gas emission from your plane ride?

驰别蝉迟别谤诲补测鈥檚 ran an intriguing article about the correlation between the rise in green awareness and increased tension between individuals trying to be more eco-aware and their partners, spouses, families, and friends. The evidence that this is happening seems, to date, pretty anecdotal, with therapists stating they鈥檝e recently seen more fighting triggered by how-much-must-we-change-to-save-the-planet impetus.

In the past few years, I鈥檝e had a 鈥済reen awakening鈥 of sorts (something Leslie Kaufman, the Times reporter, alludes to), becoming far more aware of how much humans really affect the environment, and what we as individuals can do to halt further damage. (Some involved in this cause say the problem鈥檚 moved beyond individual action and requires top-down corporate and governmental change鈥攂ut that鈥檚 a topic for another day.)

As far as I can tell, my move toward green-ness hasn鈥檛 yet become too trying for family and friends. My boyfriend and I have talked about composting. Should we do it, period? At home? Should we save our food waste and bring it to the green market nearby? How much of a burden will it be? He鈥檚 been a good sport, receptive to鈥攁nd practically excited about鈥攖he prospect. My family members still nod and smile good-humoredly when I ask them to not use another new plastic water bottle or lightly chide them for not recycling.

Like everything else in relationships, it comes down to communication, I think. Are you speaking your mind? Are you listening to what those around you say in return? One therapist in the suggests people can move past these green struggles by treating each other gently. I like that. Perhaps if we鈥檇 treat the earth that way, too, we could eliminate the need for these arguments altogether.