Birdist Rule #31: Dress Up Like a Bird for Halloween
Not sure which one? Here are some ideas.
I get asked a lot if the reason I like birds is because I wish I could fly. I guess a lot of people say they鈥檇 pick the power of flight if they could choose a superpower, but to be honest, it鈥檚 not something that鈥檚 ever appealed to me.
I mean, how hard is it to get around as it is? I have a car, and airfare prices aren鈥檛 that bad anymore. I just think flying around by yourself would be annoying. You鈥檇 get bugs in your teeth. You鈥檇 always be the one asked to make a run to the grocery store. Plus, like, what are you going to do with your luggage? You can鈥檛 just carry it with you as you fly to vacation in another country. I think people forget about the luggage part.
The point is, I don鈥檛 love birds because I want to be a bird. They can do their thing and I鈥檒l do mine. However, there are always exceptions. One of them is Halloween.
Birds are a perfect Halloween costume because there are so many options. You can embrace the scariness of Halloween and go as something deadly or creepy, like a vulture. You can get snazzy , and focus on a bird with elaborate plumage. You can also go the lazy route and just wear a green hat and call yourself a Mallard. And if none of those options sound appealing, then you can switch it up and dress like a famous birder instead. It still goes with the theme.
For this week鈥檚 column, I decided to give some bird costume ideas to those of you who might still be looking for suggestions. I hope they鈥檙e useful.
Scary Bird Costumes
Zombie Ivory-billed Woodpecker
The good news: They鈥檙e not extinct! The bad news: They鈥檙e back and lusting for human flesh!
Needs:
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Black and white clothes
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Red mohawk (or red hat, I suppose)
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A big white papier mache bill, tipped with blood
Mutant Passenger Pigeon
You know how some people are talking about using Jurassic Park-style technology to bring back the Passenger Pigeon? What if they try and it all goes wrong!? What if they become crazy half-Pigeon mutants flying around trying to kill us!? That鈥檚 a great costume.
Needs:
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Well, Passenger Pigeons had red breasts, blue-gray backs, and blue heads, so you鈥檒l have to make some sort of suit. Or you could just wear a red shirt and blue pants and a blue hat?
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Fake blood and maybe some of those crazy-eye contact lenses.
Human Turkey
Oh man, I just thought of an idea for a costume that's half human and half turkey. Wouldn鈥檛 that be terrifying?
Needs:
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All dark brown or black clothes
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You鈥檙e going to need some gross hanging turkey-neck wattles. Maybe use clay? Or put some sand in some old socks and attach them to your chin somehow. Ew.
Barn Owl
Barn Owls are the scariest birds in my opinion. They look like ghosts, fly around silently, and . Want to be a scary bird? Be a Barn Owl.
Needs:
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Tan and white clothing
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Maybe some scary white face makeup, or a homemade mask made out of a paper plate
- No soul
Snazzy Costumes
There are a ton of beautiful birds out there. These costumes are about looking good, not looking scary.
Scarlet Tanager
Simple, but effective. Red all over with black wings. Could be a really nice costume if you wanted to wear a fancy dress and look like this .
Needs:
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Red clothes
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Black sleeves or gloves
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Sexy attitude
Roseate Spoonbill
Lots of opportunities here. First, pink head to toe! Maybe you could even wear a tutu to imitate some feathers. Then, tape some spoons to your face! It鈥檒l be hilarious!
Needs:
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Pink clothes
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Spoons (Okay spoons taped to your face won鈥檛 make you look snazzy, necessarily, but what else are you going to do for a spoonbill?)
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Tape
Painted Bunting
I mean, it鈥檚 the most colorful bird we鈥檝e got. It would be a blast to see someone go all out in homage.
Needs:
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Red overalls
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Green cape
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Blue
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Red sunglasses
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Alternative option: dump a bunch of buckets of different-colored paints over your head and go like that
Literally any warbler
Just pick your favorite and copy it the best you can!
Lazy Costumes
Maybe you forgot. Maybe you don鈥檛 have the skills to make yourself a costume or the money to buy something. Most likely, you鈥檙e just too lazy to put the effort in. No worries, we鈥檝e got you covered.
Indigo Bunting
So easy.
Needs:
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Blue denim shirt and blue jeans. Bonus: Carry a hockey stick and you鈥檙e now a Canadian.
American Crow, Fish Crow, Common Raven
Needs:
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All black clothes.
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Optional: Wear a white t-shirt under a black sweater and you can be 鈥淐hihuahuan Raven.鈥
Red-headed Woodpecker
Needs:
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White pants
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Black shirt
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Red hat
Bald Eagle
Needs:
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Brown shirt
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White pants
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Bald cap (or nothing, if bald)
Birder Costumes
As an alternative to dressing up like an actual bird, it might be a little easier to dress as a figure from birding鈥檚 history.
John James 爆料公社
The king himself!
Needs:
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Buckskin shirt
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Giant white sideburns, if going as
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Watercolors
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Flowing .
Sir John Franklin
This was the British naval officer and man for whom the Franklin鈥檚 Gull is named. He died in 1847 when his expedition was lost somewhere in the Canadian Arctic, maybe near . This is a good, deep-cut birding costume because it鈥檚 also sort of scary.
Needs:
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Old timey Naval clothes
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Maybe some blue makeup to make it look like you鈥檙e frozen? (Hey, it鈥檚 Halloween.)
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Prop gull
Needs:
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Normal clothes
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Binoculars
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Field Guides for every country in the world that you have to carry around all night
Turn-of-the-Century Lady in a Egret-plume Hat
The scariest monsters of all. The 爆料公社 Society was founded in order to prevent the extinction of egrets and other birds at the hands of hunters supplying the fancy-hat trade.
Needs:
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Fancy old dress
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Fancy old hat, with a FAKE big , or . . . my goodness, is that an ?
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Unquenchable thirst for the destruction of living creatures
That鈥檚 all I鈥檝e got. If this column helped you, or you otherwise dress like a bird or birder this Halloween, please send pictures to @TheBirdist and @爆料公社Society. Happy Halloween!